This ONE Exercise Will Help You Reach Your Goals

On a blank piece of paper, word doc, or wall you don’t mind writing on…name 100 things you have done in your life you are proud of.

Now, if you are anything like me, the moment you sit down to do this you feel a drip of sweat come off your brow and your palms become clammy. You suddenly cannot think of a single thing you are proud of…this usually follows suit with a racing heart, doodling some weird stick figure guy while your mind wanders, then finally crumbling up the paper and forgetting you ever tried to do this assignment.

Don’t be that guy/girl

This is a simple exercise to help you get your mind flowing and helping you realize you can do whatever you put your mind to. They don’t have to be big accomplishments either. Heck, I put down on my list trying eel at a sushi restaurant for my first time eating sushi. I didn’t eat sushi again for another 2 years, but thats besides the point. Below is a list of items you can find on my list to help get you started.

  • passed my drivers license test (without killing anyone I might add)
  • Received my high school diploma
  • was student of the month in elementary school
  • Moved to a different country
  • studied abroad in Italy
  • went sky diving
  • learned to drive a manual vehicle

These obviously don’t have to be the same for you (especially if you haven’t passed your drivers test…I’m not judging you, promise) they are examples and can be at any age in your life. If you became clean from drugs or alcohol, that is huge success. If you planted a garden and have kept your plants alive, thats a feat I have yet to accomplish so my hat goes off to you. Whatever you have accomplished, big or small, write it down.

This may take you awhile so don’t feel obligated to fill in all 100 at once. I know 100 seems like a big number but I bet if you think long enough, you can fill 100 items within one year of your life. This homework assignment, in the end, will show you how many things you have accomplished and how little this new goal is in comparison to what you have already done.

I hope you find this little exercise useful and please share your favorite accomplishments on the comments section below!

Reading past my bedtime; 3 things you can learn from a book

I did something this past week I haven’t done in 3-4 years… I picked up the last book of a series I have been reading for the past ten years, sat down for 7 hours, and finished the series. I started the book 4 years earlier but never finished it. I was almost afraid of finishing the book series in essence because I didn’t want to let go of the story. When I finally did however I had a revelation, of which I will explain now.

This might seem mundane to you and you’re probably thinking “ok, you read a book, whoopty doo.” It was so much more than just reading a book however, let me explain. I have never NOT finished anything I’ve started in my life, so the sheer fact that I didn’t finish the series bothered me. To the point where I would think about the book ever so often and wonder about the characters. It just felt unfinished. which is my first point:

  • If there is something that comes into your mind more often than not, you should probably look into it.

Secondly, Reading books allows you to visit a world of extraordinary within your normal world of reality. At times life gets hard. You will have some hard decisions to make, changes you are afraid of, or at times, a heartbreak. A book is a place you can go when your reality is closing in on you. So here is my second point:

  • No matter where you are in your world, there is always a way to get out of the cloud and into a space of clarity. A book is the perfect place to go to clear your mind and escape for a little while you figure out where to go next.

Lastly, books feed your mind and sometimes show you parts of yourself you never knew existed before. Depending on what kind of book you’re reading, it can show you different inspiring techniques or send you into a different world of fiction. The fiction books are almost more fun because it’s as if you are transported into that book and you become your own character in it. Your blood boils when a part angers you, or your heartbeat spikes on a thrilling part. You learn more about your “fight or flight” instinct through the experiences the character’s have in the story. This leads me to my last point:

  • You are never the same person when you finish the book as when you started it. A part of you changes, you learn something new about yourself and your life around you. Your mind forms new ideas, conquers challenges, and becomes more than it was. A part of you stays in the book you just read and a new you comes out of it.

Now, if you despise reading, you’re not going to get this. One day however, I really hope you do because reading is an essential part of growth, and there are some really neat adventures out there to read and become a part of. If you do read, then you get what I’m saying. Now all we have to do is apply what we have learned to our lives outside the book to make your own unique adventure in reality….once we are able to come back to reality that is.

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What The F*#k is Your Problem?

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Okay seriously I have a bone to pick with you, but first I have a question: What do you love to do? What is that one thing that you day dream about while you should be working, researching on youtube about, looking for hashtags on social media about? What is that one passion that you love doing for you, that makes you feel alive inside?

Now here is a better question: Why the F*#k are you sitting behind a desk feeling empty everyday of your life working at a job that doesn’t fulfill you while you only daydream about the one thing that fills your life with joy? I’m serious. I have listened to so many people about what they “wish” they could do or if anything was possible what they would do with their lives.

NEWSFLASH, anything IS possible.

STOP wasting your life. You have that passion for a reason, stop wasting it. You’re not only hurting yourself, you’re hurting the world by not expressing what you were born to do. Your passion is your God given talent to use for the world. If your passion is medicine, then get your butt to school and be a doctor. If your passion is makeup, quit your day job, take the pay cut and get your butt to work!

Never do anything for the money, it’s never worth it. If you do what you LOVE for your career, you’ll never work a day in your life. Would you rather be rich and unhappy or living your dream and middle class? exactly.

PS do what you love, put your whole heart into it, and the rest will be taken care of for you. That is not only in the Bible, but in that stupid Secret book,  Scientology, and every other major religion in the world….they can’t ALL be wrong.

So seriously…what the flip? what’s really stopping you?

30 before 30

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Growing up as a kid and teen turning 30 years old seemed so far away. I sometimes even felt I’d never get to that age because to be honest, being in my “30’s” even seemed… ssshhh old. Of course now I’m swallowing my own words as this November the big 3.0. not only doesn’t seem so far away, it’s the number of years I’ll be on Earth.

Every year before my birthday I like to reflect on the past year. What I did well, what I still need to work on, what neat things I did, what I should NEVER do again. you know, the essentials. As this birthday approaches however, I get to reflect on the past 10 YEARS. My twenties were definitely a cluster f*$k as I lost and found myself again and again a couple times over. Needless to say, there’s a lot to reflect on.

Though I’m surprisingly not sad to see my twenties go, I am humbled and excited for everything I’ve done. There are a few more things I’d like to still do before I turn 30 though so I wrote this list of things I believe everyone should do before they turn 30. If you already past this birthday, well…then you REALLY need to do these things. Lets begin here:

  1. Dye your hair a ridiculous color. Because….why not? YOLO!
  2. Move away from your home town. LEAVE, even if its just for a little while. There is so much life out there!
  3. Travel to a different country. It’s a big world out there. It’s meant to be seen and experienced, not just read about in a book.
  4. Skinny dip. In a pool, in a hot tub, in the ocean, in a pond….ok maybe not a pond, that would be gross.
  5. Walk out on a job. Make sure it’s not a job you want to use as a reference or one you intend on moving up the jungle gym with. But trust me, there is something liberating about giving the finger to “The Man.”
  6. Stay up all night and watch the sunrise. Because when else will you EVER be able to do this?
  7. Sky dive…or Bungee Jump…or both. Yea, both. Do both.
  8. Read a book. This one is more of a beg from me to read something because YOU want to learn from it, not because someone told you you had to.
  9. Get lost in an unknown city. It makes you feel kind of like that TV show Man vs. Wild…kind of.
  10. Learn to drive a manual vehicle. This one is very important, because when the aliens come and destroy your city like in Independence Day you’ll be happy to know how when you find the keys of a giant manual truck in the dashboard.
  11. Get a plant. If you’re able to keep it alive, see #12. (If you kill every green thing that comes your way, see #12 anyway. Keeping a plant alive doesn’t define me…I mean you.)
  12. Get a pet. Fish, turtle, cat, dog, goat, pig, unicorn…whatever, just get some other form of life in your world.
  13. Fall in the love for the first time. This one’s important.
  14. Have your heartbroken. This one’s more important. It’ll teach you more about yourself than anything else.
  15. Find yourself. Even if it takes you a couple tries, you’ll need to know who you are in order to accomplish anything great in life.
  16. Create one “fully alive” memory that becomes legend. It’ll be those memories that make you smile when you need it most.
  17. Take a road trip. Because how else are you going to see whats just outside your backyard?
  18. Start a business. Even if it fails. In the words of Darren Hardy, “We are all entrepreneurs of our own lives.”
  19. Learn how to spend your money wisely. This also includes when NOT to spend it.
  20. Have a serving job. Everyone needs to experience working in the food industry once to learn to give respect to our servers when we go out to eat.
  21. Make a Bucket List. Of what you want to DO in your life, and who you want to BE.
  22. Go to a rave. A Burning Man festival would count too. Just to experience pure craziness and excitement.
  23. Find something you are passionate about in life. Once you find it, make it your career and you’ll never work a day in your life.
  24. Learn how to cook at least one delicious meal. No, PB&J doesn’t count. You’ll need something to impress the in-laws with.
  25. Buy your own car. There is something about buying your own car that teaches you responsibility.
  26. Laugh so hard your stomach begins to hurt. Laughter is the key to life…and it could be the best exercise to give you a six pack.
  27. Hang out with a 5 year old for one whole day. It will make you remember to never lose that childish outlook on life.
  28. Build something with your hands. It could be a piece of furniture, a garden, fixing a motor, or anything in between. We are blessed with so much because of human beings’ ability to build things once thought to be impossible. Don’t ever lose your ability to do so either.
  29. Run a marathon. Okay, maybe not a marathon. But do something physical with your body you never thought you could. You never know what you’re capable of until you push past your comfort zone.
  30. Lastly… have no regrets. Everything that has ever happened to you made you the person you are now, and it all happened for a reason. Trust the process, learn from your failures, and keep moving forward.

If you think I have forgotten anything please leave me a comment below and let me know what else you think you should do before turning the big 3.0.!

Message From the Author

It is interesting how you have this idea for yourself and future that you get so excited for. You write it all down and get ready for it, set everything up, and make a detailed schedule of how your day and routine will go to follow the path of your new future plan…

And then life happens. Your sister calls, your dog gets sick, the boss has a project you need to finish asap, your son needs to get picked up from school because he’s sick….on and on this goes until one day you open your eyes and go “HEY! Wait a minute, what happened to my schedule? What happened to my new future I was suppose to be having”?!

This happened to me recently (hence the dust bunnies collecting on my blog) from january 1st until…well…next year sometime, every weekend is filled and I have big changes coming I need to plan for. However, I’m taking back my life and putting my future plan back into motion. That future plan includes you, my reader.

From here on out I’m back with fun articles like the one coming next about 30 things to do before your 30 and some serious ones to help you feel better about yourself and your health goals. This is my promise to you and if I don’t deliver, please, please, send me hate mail. It will help keep me accountable.

3 simple steps to keep you off the therapist couch

Do you remember that 90’s TV show Married With Children? The one where Al Bundy is a miserable shoe salesman, the mom Peggy is a stay at home mom with riduclous hair and a bon bon addiction, the brother is this weird freak that lives in the basement and the sister is as stupid as they come and always comes home with the random bad boys? It was a middle-class family that was just crazy enough to help you relate with your own family drama. I sincerely believe families were created to make you have a sense of humor about life…well, that or to keep therapists employeed.

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The family I came from did both as I grew up with the hardest working man I have ever met to this day. My dad sacrificed so us kids didn’t have to, has a huge heart for animals, and also handles his alcoholism like a boss; a brother who follows suit with our hard working dad but also makes guns from scratch, knits, and occasionally goes to nudest colonies. He is the weirdest person I know and I wouldnt have him any other way. My sister is the baby of the family. She always got her way, and never got in trouble for running away on her tricycle or that time she blamed me for pouring flour all over our brother while he slept. (I was the one who got grounded and I’ve totally gotten over it obviously) Even though she went down a dark road of almost getting expelled for fighting followed by the school of hard knocks in drug addiction, she is still the strongest person I know and one of the smartest street smart people too. My mom is a care-taker, she brings in strays (animals and people) and does her best to care for them and help them on their feet. I grew up always having an open house with my siblings friends living with us whenever they needed a place to lay their head. She has the co-dependant disease coming from a family of alcoholics but it doesn’t stop her from doing her best to serve her family, raise my amazing nephew, and help the ones that need her most.

I had to give you a little background on my family to show you that I understand what a crazy family looks like, I live in it daily. In all honesty though, I don’t think there is a “normal” family out there. Truth is, they are all a little crazy and we are all a little crazy because of them. Your family is one of, if not the most, influencial part of your up-bringing and who you become before you go your own way and mold yourself through other experiences. There is always a little baggage that comes from it though and before you say “I’m just a product of my up-bringing” there are things you can do to change those old bad habits and create a new sense of self because in reality, your past gives you a reason for how you are, but no excuse to stay that way.

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1. Boundaries, boundaries…oh, and boundaries! In order to live a healthy life with your family and loved ones you must first know what it means for YOU to live a healthy life. You can only give so much of yourself before you start neglecting your own needs. I suggest writing down what things you need to do for YOU, then you can release the rest of the time for others. This includes quiet time, work life, social life, bathing and eating (seriously), and listening to your own inner voice. There will be times when everyone everywhere will want you to take them to the doctors, go grocery shopping with them, be at a certain dinner party when you already had something planned, or ask you for a weekly time to help them. Before you say yes to anything, review what you already have planned for you, then answer accordingly.

2. Acceptance. You need to realize the things you can change and the things you cannot change. What you will find with this one is there is a whole heck of a lot you CANNOT change. There is good and bad news with that realization. The bad news is there is nothing you can do, NOTHING. The good news is, there is nothing you can do! You’re free! Relax, breath, and don’t worry about it. The quicker you learn to let things go and be as they are the better off you will be. Accept people and circumstances for how they are and move on, brush it off your shoulder. The fun part is what you can change, which is everything about you: your finances, your mindset(the way you see situations), your body, your career choice, your friend choice, and how clean your car is.

3. Daily personal development. This last one follows suit with the second one. Once you realize you are powerless over your family, other people, and most situations that come your way the quicker you can begin working on the things you can change, your inner self. Daily personal development will help you change from where you are into where you want to be. In order to begin: find a place you can be alone for awhile, take all of life’s current circumstances out, and write down what you want for you and your life. From that list you will create a schedule that reflects your new way of life first, then use your free time to take your grandma to the grocery store.

This is a process, and it will take time. Look at your age and realize it took you that long to be who you are today. So accept and respect yourself and your boundaries, re-organize, and begin again. Trust me, I’m still a perfectionist people pleaser that sometimes creates chaos in my own life to feel “normal” and I at times bite off more than I can chew. My que for myself to back up and re-organize my life is when I feel the sudden urge to clean my car because dang it, THAT I can control. But hey…at least I don’t have a bon bon addiction.

Vivo La Dolce Vito,

Ambia Cherie

My Dark Secret

“Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.”

When I was going through my big transformation in life I used to recite this quote over and over again. There was something about it that hit my heart. Probably because when I looked around at everyone around me it seemed like they all had their life together while mine was a complete mess. It helped remind me to never judge a book by it’s cover, especially my own. Comparing yourself to others will take you no where but down a dark spiral you never want to go down. I know, because I was there once.

Today, I’m known as a health expert. I train over 20 classes a week to people all over my community, teach health, nutrition, and wellness at a private University, have a social media presence full of inspiration and motivation to get you the life you’ve always wanted, and have a successful personal life with the love of my life and close family and friends. You can say life is good..actually, better than good, it’s great! I’m growing daily and constantly working hard to progress and serve more people worldwide but at this moment, I consider myself successful. But, just like every other health expert, we never start out like this. It takes work, and from where I came from…it took a lot of work.

My life growing up seemed normal. In high school, I was a straight A student, page design editor for the yearbook, and played on the varsity team. But as psychologist Shawn Achor says,

“your happiness level only depends on 10 percent of your outside world.”

The truth was, I was depressed, overweight…really overweight, and struggling with drugs and partying. I’m an emotional eater, so I remember one weekend I went and bought a tub of ice cream, a bunch of chocolate bars, and a box of Pepperoni Hot Pockets..and ate them all in 2 days while I sat and watched movie after movie. That was only the beginning. When I went to college I still had good grades, but partied hard on the weekends. I Relied on alcohol, weed and cocaine to keep me up and happy during all the frat parties. I lost a lot of weight the unhealthy way, and struggled with my self confidence as I kept picking the wrong guys to be in a relationship with. This continued for about seven years until one day, life sent me a curve ball.

God works in mysterious ways and uses his children (us) to lend a helping hand. So he sent me a friend that picked me up from my inner storm and dusted me off. One of the best advice I ever got was: “you are the sum of the 5 people you are closest to.” SO, I stopped hanging out with my usual crowd, started doing my own thing, and things started to change. I made a decision to stop doing drugs and left my normal world of partying to engulf myself in studying and travel. “I took the risk and road less travelled” as they say…and it HAS made all the difference.

Now, don’t get me wrong: any kind of change is hard. It has taken me 8 years to get from there to here and not without some damage report. I have lost more than 12 friends to drugs, lost a few more to them feeling I’ve abandoned them. I caved a few more times to emotional eating and insecurities with guys along the way. But, I got back up, and worked harder the next time. You cannot change with loss, you cannot lose without a little pain. I will tell you however, that little pain I encountered then, was well worth the benefits I have gained in my life now.

Getting healthy, finding myself again, and working on my inner life as well as my outer has been the best experiences of my life. I have travelled, met new exciting people, HELPED so many people by my own experiences, and even found love by the choices I decided to make for my life and for the future of this world.

I’m writing this because I want you to know that whatever you are going through, you are not alone. If you are struggling with your health goals, don’t give up. If you are struggling with someone hurting you, fight for yourself. If you are lost and can’t find your way, keep searching. I promise you, the outcome will well outweigh your pain now. In your darkest moments hold onto the light of your dreams coming true. you WILL succeed, you will come out of this strong. Trust me…I’ve been there too.

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